Part of the problem with listening to a podcast, radio or television host is that you’re always only hearing their side of the story. You’re always listening to their particular reality distortion field which, while it may be credible on the surface, doesn’t allow you to understand their inner honest perspective of the world.
I’ll give you a few examples from here in the US.
We have this guy on a bunch of radio stations that goes by the name of Sean Hannity. He’s a conservative talk show host, and everything he says is all about how patriotic he is, how much he loves ‘Merica, the Flag, how the United States is the greatest country in the world, and how his particular monotheistic judaeo-christian omnipresent invisible flying spaghetti monster is the only ONE that we should all worship and sacrifice pasta to. Well, something like that.
Anyway, that’s who he is on the radio. If you ever heard him talk you’d say “oh, hey…I know that guy…Steve mentioned him”. And that’s fine. That’s great. But would it surprise you to know that he has a Hello Kitty tattoo on his left butt cheek? There’s nothing wrong with that of course, I may or may not have a tattoo of the TARDIS on mine, but what I’m saying is: how would that change your perception of the author of “Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War of Liberty over Liberalism”?
Better yet, what if you found out that in reality Hannity voted for Hillary?
Would that shock you? It might if you were a conservative republican… it might even anger you. I would be shocked.
Another example. What if Professor Richard Dawkins was secretly a Roman Catholic? What if the author of the brilliantly written book “The God Delusion” actually attended Mass every Sunday? What would you think of him if you learned that he not only believed in a monotheistic judaeo-christian omnipresent invisible flying spaghetti monster, but he worshipped the being as well?
Here’s the thing: both of these examples are plausible. They may not seem likely based on the evidence presented to us, but human beings are complicated mammals. Our intelligence and consciousness allows for this duplicity.
So, I wonder then what you make of me? I’ve been producing this podcast for over 12 and a half years now, and in that time you’ve heard me change…significantly. I won’t get into the details, because you can listen for yourself…just pick any episode from 2006 through 2010, and see if that guy sounds like the one you’re listening to right now.
Which raises an interesting question. What’s really going on inside my head?
If my true identity can be contemplated through a duration of a decade; might you also ask yourself the same question? Considering your location, appearance, employment, health and living environment…are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Probably not: if you’re honest with yourself.
So: now we’re faced with two striking realities about the human condition: one, we are not necessarily the person whom we tell the world that we are and two: we are likely not the same person whom we used to be.
The conclusion here is simple: the human condition is interestingly dynamic.
Physically, most of the 75 trillion cells that comprise our human bodies change over time. Red blood cells have a lifespan of about four months. White blood cells can last up to a year. Skin cells live for only two or three weeks and colon cells die after just 4 days.
Intellectually, spiritually and behaviorally we can and often do change over time.
In this social climate where the political philosophy of 30% of my country is adverse to that of the rest of us, I want to consider the adoption of a state of being that all of us are capable of, but sometimes fail to consider.
I should speak for myself. I often fail to consider.
What I really want to talk about today, is this:
In the greatest science fiction television show ever created: Doctor Who, there’s this moment when a new character first enters the Doctors time machine, the TARDIS where they ponder the incredible truth that the Blue 1920’s Gilbert Mackenzie Trench style police box they’ve just stepped into is dimensionally transcendental, that is, it’s “bigger on the inside”.
I posit that human beings are also “bigger on the inside” with our capacity for conscious thought, intelligence (when we choose to use it) and that state of being that I wish to embrace and follow starting now and moving forward.
In the vast storage space of my own corporal TARDIS…this state of being is often neglected.
It’s called: Kindness.
I need to regenerate. I need to stop being the angry, depressed, unhealthy slug of a creature that I have been these past few years: and become something better.
You’ve heard me try this before in my attempt to “get back to where I once belonged”, but maybe I was wrong about that. Maybe getting back isn’t the answer…in fact, I’m now convinced that it isn’t. Tommy Wolfe said that “you can’t go home again”, and he was right…but you can live your life in a better state of being.
You can be kind.
One of my many problems that you might sympathize with: is that I can be stubborn and antagonistic towards change. This is another one of those things that you may not know about me: It’s a silly thing not to accept change…it’s happening constantly to us, as I’ve explained, and around us as the Universe moves towards entropy…but I can be so adverse to change that I prefer stagnation. Some days I’d rather stare at the wall than I would change anything in my sphere of influence.
I didn’t used to be this way. I used to embrace change. I used to travel the world, I used to feel good about myself, I used to have confidence and a sense of adventure.
The Buddah said “Do no harm”, and I think he got it half right…because I can do no harm by staying in my TARDIS and never interfering with the entirety of the Eu-kary-ote Domain…but that doesn’t do much in the way of making the world a better place so that all cellular based organisms with membranes can live a better life.
Being kind requires more of me.
Being kind means:
- Being considerate and polite.
- Being patient.
- Saying nice things to people you meet.
- Protecting animals.
- Helping the less fortunate.
- Caring for the planet.
- Having empathy for others and all living things and, probably most of all
- Forgiving those who have hurt you.
Being kind does not mean:
- Ridiculing people because of their disabilities or failures.
- Lying in the face of overwhelming truth
- Judging people based on their ethnicity, skin color, sexual preference, orientation or philosophical beliefs.
- Endorsing a known sex offender for public office or
- Not denouncing Alt-Right neo-Nazis.
It seems like being kind is something any of us should be able to do easily, without really thinking about it…and maybe that describes you, constant listener, maybe you’re able to live your life without blame, hatred and fear.
Me? Well…I try. I really do try…but a successful argument COULD BE, and somewhere in the dark, echoey halls of the Foundation for Belittling Steve Walker such an argument most likely HAS BEEN made and accepted.
I betray the propagation of kindness all too often and everywhere.
- When I tweet about pumpkin head - tiny hands
- When I call the man pumpkin head - tiny hands.
- When I eat animal flesh
- When I contribute to the destruction of the planet with my consumption of power and property.
- When I curse the birth of my only descendant and regret his existence.
- When I fail to act, in a positive constructive helpful way, to lessen the pain of others.
- When I close my mind to non-scientific ideas and supernatural phenomenon whose affect does no harm and may, through the placebo effect, even offer relief and pleasure to those who believe.
And so, because I’m a rational thinker, skeptic and aficionado of the scientific method: I offer the following self observation:
- I have not been kind.
- I wish to become kind.
- It is possible for me to become kind.
And how can I be so confident that I have the enormous capacity for kindness?
The answer is the title of this episode: You, me and everyone you meet have this human characteristic in common: (echo) We’re bigger on the inside.
But here’s the thing: being kind has nothing to do with being conciliatory to terrible, hateful, bad people. It just means interacting with them with kindness or, as my Mom says “if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all”. The best course of action takes that further: “If someone is terrible, hateful and bad: ignore them”.
That doesn’t mean that you should enable them. For example:
The President of the United States is a terrible, hateful and bad person. As he is a public celebrity I can oppose his philosophy and denounce his tweets……but if I ever had to meet him…if I ever had to stand in his florescent seeping presence…I would be kind to him. I wouldn’t kick him in nuts and call his an asshole. I might find myself drawn to such behavior, but…I would refrain myself.
Because, I’m trying…really trying hard, to be kinder than I have been.
This does not make me a saint or an authority on kindness. This does not endow me with some special aura of goodness and light, and this most definitely does not make me “holier than thou”.
What this does do is to state my intention. What this does do is point out the unkind nature of who I have been. What this most definitely does is to mark myself as one who accepts his oh-so-major flaws and desire to become better than I was.
Ever marathon starts with a single step. Every cake starts with a single egg. Every intention needs to have an origin, and in this case: kindness has to start right here.
It's a good place to start.
The Buddha said:
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
It turns out that I, as a person, have been…for quite some time now: kind of a dick…not only to other people, but to myself.
I’m not proud of that.
If I had to blame any single thing that led me to this behavior of lacking any self compassion it’s probably my religious training in the Roman Catholic Church and the associated “guilt of everything” that has left the deepest scar.
I’m not bashing Catholicism here. I might have a few negative things to say about Church leadership…actually more than a few negative things: but I’m out from under their spell and they can’t affect or influence me any more.
But I was taught to feel guilty. I was taught that the only way I could gain reconciliation with the invisible flying spaghetti monster was through the intersession of a male member of the clergy dressed in robes. This had the affect of making me feel worthless and unworthy…and even when I finally outgrew my big ears and acne…my self confidence was squashed.
And you’d think that, 41 years after the 15 year old version of me dropped the ball in right field in the bottom of the 9th inning of the Weymouth Farm League championship game with runners on first and third with two outs on a 2 and 1 count and my team 2 runs ahead.
Well. Let’s just say I have not been kind to myself through the years.
It’s true that solvitur ambulando, it is solved walking…but it’s also true that for the past 4 years, 10 months and 3 days, I have not been…what paddlers down the Allagash would call “a happy camper”.
I began running, seriously…with wild abandon, and lack of caution: 19 years ago, on December 30th of 1998. I was happier back then, because of my running…and I can be happier again.
Doctor Sheehan…that ever present voice in my head, said it best when he wrote “Out on the roads, there is fitness and self-discovery and the persons we were destined to be.”
I have no idea who the person I am destined to be is…as a matter of fact, I’m a bit skeptical about the whole “destiny” thing, but the good doctor has never steered me wrong…so, I think it’s time to evolve.
I’m not getting back to where I once belonged…I’m moving forward.
It’s time to be kind.
Okay, alright, I’m sorry…I lost the fucking game. I dropped the fucking ball and it was my fault…I’m the reason the Red Barons lost the 1977 Weymouth Farm League Championship: GET OVER IT. I forgive myself.
Yes, yes…I know the woman I voted for wasn’t elected President by the fucking electoral college. I know that the guy who is in office right now is a disgrace and a fucking asshole. GET OVER IT. Be a part of the cure, stopped pissing and moaning about it. Be kind.
Sure, okay, I know…I know it’s horrific how so many people believe that climate change is a hoax and are contributing to the decline of the planet and the eventual pain and suffering that our children’s children will bear. GET OVER IT, do something about it.
Look, there are things that none of will ever and should never get over...I’m not talking about those things. I’m talking about sucking it up and giving yourself a break...your just not as shitty a person as you might think you are. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel healthy, you deserve to BE KIND.
So, do it. Go, now..get out there.
Stop tweeting garbage.
Stop eating beef.
Turn off a light and drive the car less often.
So your son hates you, that’s his fucking problem. Get over it.
Do no harm.
Have some respect for people who believe in magic, unless they’re hurting someone or themselves.
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
I'm Steve Runner, reminding you to Run Long and Taper!